||[May. 24th, 2008|07:57 pm]
im in my living room. |
george michael is playing on the tv.
there is a half empty bottle of tequila in front of me.
and i have my silver fuck me heels on.
not like i have a plan. nope.
im just sitting around in my living room.
enjoying myself and brooding at the same time.
i wanted to bake today
and i wanted to clean.
instead i made myself food and watched tv.
and then i decided to start drinking.
and that was a good one.
so now me and the bottle are real close and i am
starting to think about things differently.
the last time i felt like this was when things
with me and he-who-must-not-be-named started going sour.
never felt like this about brazil before.
but now i dont even care that he will be out of state
im happy actually. glad i dont have to see him.
and that makes this girl feel very sad.
because it means that shes started to peel away
and that in the end, only means one thing
that she will never be able to open herself up completely.
at least thats what happened last time.
oh man, last time it almost cost me my soul.
last time. seems like an eternity.
last time this year i was so happy.
so stupid it seems to me now. so naive.
but its always like that for me isnt it.
i never see reality. or i do. but i chose not to.
so i always get myself in trouble.
ah fuck man.
fuck this shite.
welcome to my life.