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beginning to understand [Nov. 23rd, 2008|06:12 pm]
it just hit me
standing in the cold
being devious and watching smoke
i ll be gone before i know it
maybe even before the first
real snow sets on the ground.

and i ll be gone for a long time
enough to change a life
enough for being a catalyst
for the things that i want
the things that i need.

faces i wont even recognize
and copious amounts of coffee
and places i have never been to
and no excuses for bad tempers
or scowling faces
because i am going to be there.

the feeling is overwhelming
sadness and anticipation
hesitation and delirium
and a feeling of such a pull
like something
something is going to happen


i am only going to promise
myself one thing-
not that i will be good
not that i will write all the time
not that i will be safe
but that i will catalogue
every thought and sight and feeling
so that one day i can look back
and say
i was 22 and set free upon the world
i left and returned
and what of the changes?

we're just going to have to wait and see.